What do vampires cross the sea in? Blood vessels.

Do you know a favourite expression used by the Gorillas? Apesy daisy!

Where do ghost trains stop? At devil crossings.

What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!

What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

Knock Knock Who's there ! Cumin ! Cumin who? Cumin side, its freezing out there !

Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?

Knock Knock Who's there ! Banana ! Banana who ? Banana split so ice creamed !

Knock Knock Who's there ! Chad ! Chad who? Chad to make your acquaintance !