Did you hear why they closed the Seattle Kingdom? While the crowd was doing the wave, two blondes drowned.

What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.

It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants' star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants' goal when the Elephants' left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?" The elephant replied, "Well, I didn't mean to kill him -- I was just trying to trip him up."

Why are football players never asked for dinner? Because they're always dribbling!

Daddy, daddy, can I have another glass of water, please? But that's the tenth one I've given you tonight! Yes, but the baby's bedroom is still on fire.

What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter!

How do you start a teddy bear race ? Ready, teddy, go !

Fade Away by Peter Out

Q. Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall? A. To see what was on the other side.

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys... all on different limbs,... at different levels,... some climbing up. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.