A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, "You're soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit." The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, "You're slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a math teacher."

Where does an elephant carry its laptop? In its trunk.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Hockey Barbie ...comes with hockey stick and missing teeth

Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground!

What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica!

Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven? Yes, that's right. Well, I don't blame God for chucking her out.

Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.

'Here's a good book,' said the sales assistant in the book shop to Mrs Monster. 'How To Help Your Husband Get Ahead.' 'No, thank you,' said Mrs Monster. 'My husband's got two heads already. . .'

What goes into the mouth of a quarter horse? Two bits!

What dog sweats the most and drinks the most water? A hot-weiler!