Why are burglars such good tennis players ? Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts !

Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities. A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking. A: None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.

How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee-mail!

One idiot said to the other, "You know, there are really only three kinds of people in the world: those who can count, and those who can't.

Two robbers were robbing a hotel. The first one said, "I hear sirens. Jump!" The second one said, "But we're on the 13th floor!" The first one screamed back, "This is no time to be superstitious."

One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window. Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names. "Shut Up", replied Shut Up. "Stupid", replied Stupid. The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. "Excuse Me!" shouted the chief. Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names. "Shut Up!" "Stupid!" The police chief was very riled. He then asked" Are you looking for trouble?"!!! Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied,"Why yes, how did you know?"

What happened to the lost cattle? Nobody's herd.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a brick? A: When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Werewolf Barbie ...normal doll, except under a full moon

What kind of bird opens doors ? A kiwi !