Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games ? So that they can pack the defence !

Three New Zealanders and three Aussies are travelling by train to a cricket match at the World Cup in England. At the station, the three Aussies each buy a ticket and watch as the three New Zealanders buy just one ticket between them. "How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?" asks one of the Aussies. "Watch and learn," answers one of the New Zealanders. They all board the train. The Aussies take their respective seats but all three New Zealanders cram into a toilet and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Ticket please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Aussies see this and agree it was quite a clever idea. So after the game, they decide to copy the New Zealanders on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the New Zealanders don't buy a ticket at all!! "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed Aussie. "Watch and learn," answers a New Zealander. When they board the train the three Aussies cram into a toilet and soon after the three New Zealanders cram into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the New Zealanders leaves the toilet and walks over to the toilet where the Aussies are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket please."

Policeman: Why were you asleep at the wheel? Motorist: Your siren lulled me to sleep.

What do you call a pig with three eyes? ...A piiig

What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ? John.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?

What do you call the ghost who is a child-rearing expert? Dr Spook.

Doctor, Doctor I think I'm a python You can't get round me just like that you know!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Arthur ! Arthur who ! Arthene you in the butchers, haven't I ?

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ? Poison by Christian Dior !