Did you hear about the fire in the rednecks library? Both the books got burned, and one hadn't even been coloured in yet.

How do you tell the difference between the staff and the inmates at a psychiatric hospital? The patients get better and leave. Not everyone of the patients thinks he is God. The staff have the keys!

What do you call an oversize motorcycle for pigs? A hog hog.

Are you getting older and wiser? No, he's getting older and wider!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bully ! Bully who ? Bully Jean is not my lover !

A man in a swimming pool was on the very top diving board. He poised, lifted his arms, and was about to dive when the attendant came running up, shouting, "Don't dive ? there's no water in that pool!" "That's all right," said the man. "I can't swim!"

Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common? A: They can both drive you crazy.

What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws ? An acrocat !

Why was the lion-tamer fined ? He parked on a yellow lion !

What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo!