Why do computer teachers never get sick? Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

UR MOMA IS SO HAIRY THAT HARRY POTTER GOT JEALOUS.

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."

Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You don't. They're born that way.

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny? Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." "I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!"

What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him ? He's bee-witched !

Some men go on a hunting trip and separate into pairs. That evening one hunter, Sam, returned to camp alone toting a 12 point buck. "Where's George?" one of the men asked, noticing that Sam had returned alone. "He's about 6 miles back. He tripped and broke his ankle. I left him there 'cause I figured ain't nobody 'bout to steal him."

When should you feed milk to a baby elephant ? When it's a baby elephant !