An angel in heaven was welcoming a new arrival. "How did you get here?" he asked. And the new angel replied, "Flu..."

What did the metric alien say ? Take me to your litre !

Do pigs like Backgammon? No, they prefer their backs scratched.

For their 25th wedding anniversary, a man decides to take his wife on a trip to France. After two weeks touring France, they return to the airport for the trip back to America. While waiting for the plane, the wife turns to her husband and says, "This was the most wonderful gift I could have asked for on our 25th anniversary. I can't wait to hear what you have in mind for our 50th anniversary!" Her husband leaned over, kissed her on the cheek, and said, "I'm going to come back and get you"

What salesman has the slickest line? A hair grease salesman.

A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet

A man is calling on his best friend to pay a condolence call the day after the friend's wife has died. When he knocks on the door, he gets no answer, so he decides to go in and see if everything is all right. Upon entering the house, the man discovers his friend in the living room kissing a mate. "Jack", says the man, "Your wife just died yesterday!!" His friend looks up and says, "In this grief, do you think I know what I'm doing?"

Why do you think your report should be on the net? Because my marks are all 'E's.

The boss returned from lunch in a good mood and called the whole staff in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up. Everybody, but one girl laughed uproariously. "What's the matter?" grumbled the boss. "Haven't you got a sense of humor?" "I don't have to laugh," she replied. "I'm leaving Friday."

What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !