Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordham freshmen, were discussing what kind of work would supply mem with big bucks after graduation. "Well, I've always thought I'd like to be a doctor," said Higginbote. "Specialize in something or other. Like obstetrics, maybe." "Obstetrics?" scoffed Goldstein. "At the rate science is going, you'd no sooner learn all about it when bingo! somebody'd find a cure for it."

Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.

What do you call a crafty pig? CunningHam

Does your dog know how how to surf the internet? No - but he's got a ruff idea.

Q: Why did the clown wear loud socks? A: So his feet wouldn't fall asleep.

Did you hear about the blonde who got into the taxi, and the driver kept the "Vacant" sign up?

What do you call a pig with no clothes on? Streaky bacon!

Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident? A: Be too drunk to find your keys.

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors? Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, 'Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?'