Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose? He was a ghoulsnif fer.

At the South Pole by Anne Tarctic

There was an inebriated driver who was pulled up by the police. When the cop opened the door, the driver fell out. "YOU'RE DRUNK!" exclaimed the police officer. "Thank God for that!" said the drunk, "I thought the steering had gone."

What game did the dentist play when she was a child?...Caps and robbers

As two boys were passing the rectory, the minister leaned over the wall and showed them a ball. "Is this yours" he asked "Did it do any damage" asked one of the boys "No" replied the minister "Then it's mine !"

Waiter: I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon. Customer: What bait are you using?

What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits' home? A search warren!

What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear ? Winnie the Pooh !

How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed!

A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a little clue." The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he'd turn over in his grave." Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. "Take her to Turning Walter!"