Mrs. Culpepper was almost in tears. "Oh Marie," she said to her maid, "I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary." "I don't believe it for one minute !" Marie snapped."You're just saying that to make me jealous !!!"
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist? Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow? Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ? They both drop their needles !
A Cowboy was going deer hunting.. His blonde wife said she was going with him.. That they never did anything together.. So, they went.. He put her in a stand by herself.. Later in the morning he heard her shoot.. He went over to her stand and she was pointing her rifle at a guy with a cowboy hat on.. The guy was telling her, Ma'mm, you can have the deer you shot.. I just want to take my saddle off of him!
A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance. The "disturbance" turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What's more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and Muhammad Ali too. Said the policeman, "I'll bet that you're also an escape artist-probably better than Houdini." The giant nodded. "If I had some chains," the deputy continued, "you could show us how strong you really are. But all I've got is a set of handcuffs. Why don't you see just how quickly you can break out of them?" Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes. "I can't get out of these," the giant growled. "Are you sure?" the deputy asked. The fellow tried again. "Nope," he replied. "I can't do it." "In that case," said the deputy, "you're under arrest."
Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ? Your teeth !
Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight? A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!
What's a dog favourite hobby ? Collecting fleas !
There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Venus de Milo Barbie ...made of rock; no head, no arms