Did you hear about the idiot who planted Cheerios in his backyard? He thought they were donut seeds.

Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas??? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."

What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ? A phantomime !

What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !

What lights up a football stadium? A football match!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde that invented the solar flashlight?

Knock Knock Who's there ! Aida ! Aida who ? Aida more than I drink !

Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.

Is there a God? A billion Hindus can't be wrong.

A man walks into a Kansas bar with his golden retriever. "Hey," says the bartender, "No dogs allowed in the bar." "Oh please?," begs the customer. You see, you're playing the Royals game, and my dog is a really big fan of the Royals." "You're trying to tell me that this here dog is a BASEBALL FAN?! Both of you get out of my bar," says the bartender. "No animals allowed, and YOU belong in a mental institution. Dogs don't like baseball!" Just then, the Royals get a hit. The dog goes wild. He jumps up on the bar and hops around in circles on his hind legs. Then he does the same on his front legs! The bartender is astounded. "That is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Who ever thought a DOG could like baseball?! I'm curious though....if he gets that excited when the Royals get a hit, what does he do when they get a home run?" "I don't know," confesses the owner, "I 've only had him for five years."