Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? A: She can't say "No".

Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? A: Violists.

"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?" "I ought to be able to. I've had ten different jobs in four months."

yo mama so stupid..she sits on the t.v and watches the couch

Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar ? He wanted sweet and sour pork !

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? "How long have you been having this phantasy?"

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog ? Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards? A. So they can park in handicapped zones.

Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf? Because it's too much like work, what with all of the lying involved.

What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way ? She was tickled to death !