What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman? Lots.

What happened to Ray when he met the man-eating monster? He became an ex-Ray.

Wife: Who was that on the phone? Husband: Wrong number. Some guy thought this was the weather bureau. Wife: What did he say? Husband: He asked if the coast was clear...

Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two, but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money

What has big ears, brings Easter treats, and goes "hippity-BOOM, hippity-BOOM, hippity-BOOM"? The Easter Elephant.

Fred: I met a really conceited actor the other day. Harry: Why do you say he's conceited? Fred: Well, every time there was a thunderclap during the storm, he went to the window and took a bow.

Q: What are 3 two letter words that say small? A: Is it in.

What's the definition of Parity? Two parrots exactly the same!

Kelly was standing in front of Cohan's Tavern when he saw a driverless car rolling slowly down the street. He ran to the car, jumped in, and pulled on the emergency brake with a jerk. Kelly got out and very proudly said to the man approaching him, "I stopped it!" "I know, you idiot!" said the man. "I was pushing it!"