Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. To get away from the bagpipe recital.

Did you hear about the teacher who was trying to instil good table manners in her girls? She told them that a well brought girl never crumbles her bread or rolls in her soup.

Which insect didn't play well in goal ? The fumble bee !

Q: Whats the difference between purple and pink? A: The grip.

What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.

Two aliens from outer space landed in Las Vegas and were wandering around the casinos. One of them volunteered to go inside and see what was happening. He came out looking rather shocked. "What's the matter?" asked his friend. "It's a very popular place," replied the first alien. "It's full of creatures that keep throwing up little metal discs."

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bonnie ! Bonnie who ? Bonnie by soloflex !

What looks like a dog, sounds like a dog, eats like a dog, but isn't a dog? A pup.

With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called "Marriage Anonymous." Whenever a guy feels like getting married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.

Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: "Make a fright turn at the corner."