A weather forecaster took a job in another part of the country. When asked why he transferred he replied, "The weather didn't agree with me."

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to? -Rock and Roll

Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away? 1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children.

Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school, his teacher told him how he felt. I feel with my hands Miss !

Two Scots, father and son, go to America. - Daddy, when we'll arrive? - Shut up and swim.

Q: How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Only one Arian, but an awful lot of light bulbs. (*smash*)

What's a mouse's least favorite record ? What's up Pussycat !

Knock Knock Who's there ! Adolf ! Adolf who ? Adolf ball hit me in the mouth !

Q: What do you call a truckload of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats.

Well-known lodging chain announced it was creating a line of nofrills hotels. The only way you'll see a chocolate on the pillow now is if the last guest was eating an M&M.