What US state has the most cows? Moosouri!

The Captain was Jewish, and the new First Officer was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didn't get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, " I don't like Chinese. " The F.O. replied, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why is that? " The Captain said, " You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese. " The F.O. said, " Nooooo, noooo ... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That JAPANESE, not Chinese. " And the Captain answered, " Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese ... it doesn't matter. They're all alike. " Another 30 minutes of silence. Finally the First Officer said, " No like Jew. " The Captain replied, " Why not? Why don't you like Jews? " " Jews sink Titanic. " Said the F.O. The Captain tried to correct him, " No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg. " " Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg .. no mattah .. all same "

Doctor, Doctor I'm having trouble with my breathing. I'll give you something that will soon put a stop to that!

Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Joseph Stalin? A: Some of Stalin's subjects admired him.

What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet ? An elephant with spare parts !el

Does the Easter Bunny like baseball? Oh, yes. He's a rabbit fan!

What do you call a witch who kills her mother and father? An orphan.

What did Frankenstein's monster say when he was struck by lightning? Thanks, I needed that.

There was the Florida State defensive tackle who thought Hertz Van Rentals was a famous Dutch painter.

An elderly fisherman wrote to a mail order house the following: "Please send me one of those gasoline engines for my boat you show on page 438, and if it's any good, I'll send you a check." In a short time he received the following reply: "Please send check. If it's any good, we'll send the engine."