I just sent my first e-mail. Kongratulations!

Have you seen www.dustbin.com? Yes, but it's a load of rubbish.

Q: How do you get 2 piccolos to play a perfect unison? A: Shoot one.

How did the blonde burn her nose? Bobbing for french fries.

Men are like lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not very bright.

What have 12 legs, six eyes, three tails and can't see ? Three blind mice !

Sister Mary burst into the office of the principal of Our Lady of Perpetual Motion parochial school in an advanced state of agitation. "Father!" she cried, "just WAIT until you hear this!" The priest led the sister to a chair, and said, " Now just calm down and tell me what has you so excited?" "Well, father" the nun began, "I was just walking down the hall to the chapel and I heard some of the older boys wagering money!" "A serious infraction, indeed!" said the priest. "But that's not what has me so excited, father" replied the nun, "it was WHAT they were wagering ON! They had wagered on a contest to see who could urinate the highest on the wall!!" "What an incredible wager!" exclaimed the priest, "What did you do?" "Well, I hit the CEILING, father." "How much did you win?"

How many physiotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just give the dead bulb some exercises to do and hope it will be working a bit better the next time they see it.

This woman is visiting in Israel and notices that her little travel alarm needs a battery. She looks for a watch repair shop and while she doesn't read Hebrew she finally sees a shop with clocks and watches in the window. She goes in and hands the man her clock. The man says, "Madam, I don't repair clocks. I am a Mohel. I do circumcisions." She says, "Why all the clocks in the window?" And he says, "And what should I have in my window?"

Judge: Are you married? A. No, I'm divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn't know about.