A man whose son had just passed his driving test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven slap into the living room. "How did you manage to do that?" he fumed. "Quite simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned left!"

What did the witch say to the ugly toad? I'd put a curse on you - but somebody beat me to it!

What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian? A spot-weiler!

What do you get if you pour boiling water down rabbit holes? Hot, cross bunnies !

- What do you think about the coming battle, General? - God knows it will be lost. - Then why should we go for it? - To find out who is the loser.

What is a jockey's motto? Put your money where your mount is!

Patient: Doctor, my wife thinks I'm crazy because I like sausages. Psychiatrist: Nonsense! I like sausages too. Patient: Good, you should come and see my collection. I've got hundreds of them.

What did the really ugly man do for a living? He posed for Halloween masks.

Why do tornadoes move so erratically? -They are dizzy

What's the fastest cake in the world? Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.