How does a witch make scrambled eggs? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.

How much fishing tackle can a man accumulate before his wife throws him out? I don't know the answer but I think I'm nearly there.

What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw.

Name two tennis stars who are famous in the hamburger world? Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!

Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, publicly accused her neighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked outside the town's only bar. George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head? A: Sweet fuck all.

yo mama so fat she has seat belts on the chairs to keep her fat from rolling off!!!!!!!!!

Teacher: What are the four elements? Pupil: Fire, Earth, Water and the Internet. Teacher: What do you mean the Internet? Pupil: Well, Mum says that whenever I'm on the Net, I'm in my element.

There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? - I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.

When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair service. The friendly technician after inspecting the equipment, informed the manager that the machine was in need of a good cleaning. The tech suggested that someone might try reading the operator's manual and perform the job themselves, since it would cost $100.00, if he did the work. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asks, "Does your boss know you are discouraging business?" "Actually, my boss demands we explain this to all our customers". "After people try first to fix things themselves, we end-up making much more money on repairs"