Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Where do cowboys cook their meals? On the range.

How does a lobster answer the phone? Shello?

Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week, what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad ? Star Warts !

Little monster: Mom, I've finished. Can I leave the table? Mommy monster: Yes, I'll save it for your supper.

How do you make a tissue dance ? Put a little boogie in it !

Q.Why is a dog scared of a fire? A.It doesn't want to become a hot dog.

One evening this Columbia Yuppie was stopped for allegedly drunken driving and was given a breath test by the Howard County Police. "Well ?" he asked somewhat belligerently as the Desk Sergeant slowly read the print out and entered the information in the arrest record. "Disappointing to say the least," the Sergeant replied. "Chateau Duvalier... 1962... rather thin... not aged well at all."

Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.