An irate father stormed into the principal's office. "I demand to know," he screamed, "why my son Winslow was given a zero on his English examination." "Now, don't get excited," said the principal. "We'll get your Winslow's English teacher in here. I'm sure she has some explanation." A few minutes later, the English teacher arrived. "Why did you give Winslow a zero on his English final?" demanded the father. "I had no choice," said the schoolmarm. "He handed in a blank paper with absolutely nothing on it." "That's no excuse," shouted the father. "You could have at least given him an 'A' for neatness!"

What did one ghost say to another? I'm sorry, but I just don't believe in people.

When fish play football, who is the captain? The team's kipper!

Knock Knock Who's there ! Census ! Census who ? Census presents for Christmas !

Knock Knock Who's there ! An author ! An author who ? An author joke like this and I'm off !

There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Circus Clown Barbie ...complete with scary face paint and scary wig

Why can any hamburger run the mile in under four minutes? Because it's a FAST food!

Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand? A: Yes Judge: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995? A: Oral.

Q2: What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes? A: Rep Tiles

Q. Why did the belt go to jail? A. Because he held up a pair of pants!