Knock Knock Who's there ! Alan ! Alan who ? Alan a good cause !

Which city holds the record for the most suicides committed by a Gorilla jumping off a tall building? Fall-adelphia!

How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf...

Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard.

Sam was on his death bed, and his wife and children were gathered around him. Suddenly the aroma of chopped liver filled the room. Sam perked up a bit and said to his wife, "That's it, one last time before I die I must have some of your delicious chopped liver." Sam's wife looked at him sadly and said, "Sorry Sam, it's for after."

Dad: Don't be selfish. Let your brother use the sled half the time. Son: I do, Dad. I use it going down the hill and he gets to use it coming up!

What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot? An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once.

Customer: Why is my hairline receding? Barber: It's not. Your scalp is advancing.

Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby. The nurse brings them over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, definitely Caucasian white baby boy! "Congratulations," says the nurse to the new parents. "What will you name the baby"? The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, "Well, two Wong's don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting Wong!