What happened to the naughty little witch at school? She was ex-spelled.

There were those three guys, a priest, a doctor and an engineer, and they were playing golf. But the group before them was extremely slow and at each hole they waited hours. Finally the priest asked around, why was that other group was so slow? He was told that they were very courageous firemen who saved the golf course a couple of years ago from a terrible fire, in which they all lost their sight. As a proof of appreciation they were given the right to play on the course whenever they wanted. They like that a lot, but being blind they are just not too good at hitting the ball, let alone finding it after it's hit. The priest said, "Oh my this is terrible. Tonight I'll say a little prayer for these courageous souls." The doctor heard that and said "Don't worry. I'll send them to a friend of mine, he's an ophtalmologist and he works wonders." The engineer said "Wait. Why can't they just play at ni ght?"

What did one maggot say to the other who was stuck in an apple? Worm your way out of that one, then!

What did the ice cream say to the unhappy cake? "Hey, what's eating you?"

Patient: Why did you charge me a group rate? Psychiatrist: You've got multiple personalities.

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

Q: Why don't blondes like buttered toast? A: They can't figure out which side the butter goes on.

Flight fifty has a pretty rough time above the ocean. Suddenly a voice comes over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seat belts and assume crash positions. We have lost our engines and we are trying to put this baby as gentle as possible down on the water". "Oh stewardess! Are there any sharks in the ocean below?" asks a little old lady, terrified. "Yes, I'm afraid there are some. But not to worry, we have a special gel in the bottle next to your chair designed especially for emergencies like this. Just rub the gel onto your arms and legs". "And if I do this, the sharks won't eat me any more?" asks the little lady. "Oh, they will eat you all right, only they won't enjoy it so much".

Q. A fireman had two sons. What did he name them? A. Hosea and Hoseb

Knock Knock Who's there ! Camila ! Camila who ? Camila minute !