Q. What kind of ears do pumpers have? A. Engineers.

What do you get if you cross a jogger with an apple pie ? Puff pastry !

I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow? I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!

Why was the cat so small ? Because it only ate condensed milk !

What has webbed feet and fangs? Count Quackula.

What happened when the icicle landed on the sowmman's head? It knocked him cold.

What snakes are good at sums ? Adders !

Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordham freshmen, were discussing what kind of work would supply mem with big bucks after graduation. "Well, I've always thought I'd like to be a doctor," said Higginbote. "Specialize in something or other. Like obstetrics, maybe." "Obstetrics?" scoffed Goldstein. "At the rate science is going, you'd no sooner learn all about it when bingo! somebody'd find a cure for it."

Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other "I don't like your friend." The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."

Why was the little bear so spoiled ? Because its mother panda'd to its every whim !