What's a rabbits' favorite dance? The bunny hop.

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Knock Knock Who's there ! Bernie ! Bernie who ? Bernie bridges !

Did you hear about the man who was half Jewish & half Italian? He made himself an offer he couldn't understand.

Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"

The Modern Police Force by Iris Tew

Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter "O." "Why'd you put that circle down?" asked the clerk. "Cause Ah can't write," replied the girl. "Why don't you sign with an 'X'?" asked the man. "Ah used to," she answered. "But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!"

Golfer: "Caddy, do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Oh yes, sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."

Why is a dog like a baseball player? He runs for home when he sees the catcher coming.

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do? Use a pencil till I get there